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totswrites

Just some random thoughts in writing and I pray they ignite your soul.

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psalms

El Roi – The God who sees

El Roi,

The God who sees me!

You see the innermost part of my heart.

My fears, My doubts, My anxieties.

You see all of it, 

You are El Roi.

You are the one who never turns away. 

In moments of joy and sorrow, 

In times of certainty and confusion,

You are there, watching over me. 

 You neither sleep nor slumber (Psalms 121:4),  

Surely you don’t. 

Your gaze is filled with understanding and compassion, offering solace when my spirit is weary. 

You illuminate the darkest corners of my mind, bringing light where there once was only shadow.

El Roi, 

You know me more deeply than I know myself. 

You see the potentials  within me, the strength I sometimes forget I possess. 

You witness my struggles and triumphs, standing beside me through every step of my journey.

Your vision is not clouded by my imperfections, failures, or weakness.

Instead, You see the beauty in my resilience and the courage in my vulnerability.

In you, I find comfort and hope, knowing I am never alone.

You will forever be my El Roi

God, who sees me!

Reading the story of Hagar after she fled from the maltreatment of Sarai, her mistress has resonated with me lately. Despite Hagar’s limited knowledge of God, His mercy extended to her because she carried a descendant of His friend, Abraham. As I dived into the story of Hagar and studied it with intentionality, I pondered on God’s ability to see Hagar in her pain. I wondered, if He saw her, why wouldn’t He see me – a Christ-believer with a redeemed identity? If God saw Hagar through her bitterness, anger, and resentment, why not me, a daughter with an inheritance in Christ?

He sees me on those days when I walk in Christ and on the days I fail to reflect his character. He celebrates my victories and observes me in moments of difficulty and unforgiveness. He sees it all.

So, if I am confident that the creator of the universe sees it all, I should be reassured that he will never leave or forsake me. Through the pain, the hardship, the sleepless nights, the weary eyes, he sees it all, ready to use all my experiences for his glory.

This is my newfound bragging right: the God I serve is the God who sees – He is El Roi.

-totswrites ❤️

I Don’t Have to Know!

Sometimes all I wish is a clear picture of my life.

Just like a movie, I wish I could predict each scenario, phase, and outcome.

Thoughts battling in my head and wishing I could just get a glimpse of my future. 

What will happen in the next minute, hours, or days.

I just want to know!

And as I begin to ruminate on my intentions;

I ask myself, why exactly do I want a clear picture of my life?

Why do I want to know the future right in the present?

And I realized, it is my selfish and never-ending wants.

The quest for a perfect life filled with zero mistakes

What fun is this?

What fun is in life with knowing the unknown before it happens? 

Yes, it could do some good; 

However, this teaches me to trust!

Not in my abilities, strengths, and past successes,

But trust in someone and something much greater than myself.

When I know it all, pride may consume me and then I’ll seize to trust in the one who made the universe.

 I start playing god by manipulating my life to fit my desire and not his. 

So I resolved within myself that I just have to trust in the only one who can give me peace in the unknown and give a clear picture of my life. 

I don’t have to know!

However, just like David, I should be confident that “the Lord will work out his plans for my life – for his faithful love, endures forever.” (Psalms 138:8)

-totswrites ❤️

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